Common Obstacles

Why do we do mindfulness?

Through personal experience there have been many benefits to practicing mindfulness. One of the first benefits was developing a sense of friendliness towards myself. This friendliness allowed me to be kinder to my own life experiences and be able to relate to others around me. With mindfulness, I have been able to lovingly be available to myself and others, changing the way I respond in the world. I am less reactive and instead more engaged and curious. All of these skills continue to help me to be more patient and gentle with myself, especially as I grow as a parent.

How do I remember to do mindfulness?

I have found that a regular daily practice has helped me to integrate an attitude of mindfulness. Then it is less about remembering to do it and more about it being a natural part of life. It is like learning a new habit and we need time to do that before it becomes second nature. I started with practicing one minute before getting up in the morning or going to bed at night. Then I would increase it by a minute when I was ready, just like increasing the repetitions in a workout. Forming the habit will allow mindfulness to arise naturally and with a balance effort.

When is it a good time to practice mindfulness?

Mindfulness can be applied to all aspects of life. Set yourself up for success by considering shorter increments of mindful activity. It could be one minute waiting in the pickup line for your child at school. It could be sitting quietly together for a minute listening to the birds sing. Choose ways to begin simply to strengthen the skill over time. When their is a foundation of mindfulness, then it can be used in ways that invite a change of behavior.

My child will not participate, what do I do?

There can be many answers to this question. A good place to start is investigating your child’s behavior. This does not mean to ask them why and make it an inquiry, instead just watch without judgement. I have had times when my children do not participate because I noticed they are too tired after a full day at school. Maybe they need to move instead. So I adapt by choosing a practice that is in motion like art, walking, or something outdoors. It is okay to practice or not. Maybe reading is not their thing right now. It might be sports. Instead, mindfully catch a ball to together. Exhaling while throwing and inhaling while catching. Maybe they love animals, read a book to the family pet. It is okay to explore and create together.

How do I keep my child engaged in mindfulness?

I once taught a group of kids at my children’s school basic meditation breathing while we were outside. One of the kiddos was distracted by everything. A bug, a tree, an airplane, his neighbor’s shoe laces… which he started to tug on. We as a group began to adapt and I invited the kids to send their breath to the airplane for a few times. Then we sent some breaths to a dragonfly. The group’s flexible and creative attitude made practice accessible to the kiddo feeling distracted. I believe if we keep this kind of attitude, we can find a workable way to engage in mindfulness.

How do I include a different ages while reading?

My children have a 5 year age gap and this has not stopped us from engaging in reading practices together as a group. One way we have done this is by having my eldest read or lead the practice. Another way is to work with picture books without words and they get to make up the dialogue in the book. As my children get older we are transitioning from picture books to chapter books moving along with their development.